Tips of Tales
by Alligates
Summary: Little oneshots about random little days at Hogwarts. Next Gen, Golden Trio era and Marauders era. No slash! First story! Please read and review! Full summaries inside! Featuring: Albus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, the marauders, the Golden Trio, Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Madam Pomfrey, a psychotic plant, and many more! ABANDONED
1. What Happens in Winter

**NO SLASH  
><strong>

**Era : Next Generation  
>Featuring : Ravenclaw!Albus and Hufflepuff!Scorpius and a bunch of ignored Hufflepuffs, and a window.<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer : Characters belong to JK Rowling. <strong>  
><strong>Warning : First story. Your eyes may bleed. But I doubt they will, unless it's common for you...<br>No-one's POV.  
>Summary : Albus wakes up to a... not exactly unusual, but exciting discovery. Now he wants to tell Scorpius about it. What exactly is he going to do?<br>**

**Hope you all like it! ^^ Don't be scared to review!**

Albus Potter woke up to the sunlight streaming down onto his face from the open window next to his bed in the Ravenclaw dorm. He frowned and didn't bother to open his eyes, simply decided to turn around so that the sun wouldn't hinder him. It was a Saturday, after all. If he could sleep more on a Saturday, he definitely would. Especially during the winter. And especially when he'd been up until three o'clock in the morning last night, reading books and talking to his friends.

Just as he made a move to flip over, something cold and small landed on his nose. He didn't think much of it until it started melting and dripped down his cheeks. And into his eyes.

Albus groaned softly and slowly brought his hands up to his face to wipe away the... stuff.

Wait. Stuff?

Another little cold thing decided to land on his hand. It merrily remained there until it, too, melted away.

Was someone dripping ice cream onto him again? God, that had been awful... it made all his hair stick together, because that person had not only dripped ice cream onto him, but had dripped _vanilla_ ice cream which contrasted hugely with his dark locks. And said person hadn't dripped the ice cream; said person had purposefully melted a whole ice cream container, just to _pour_ it all onto his head.

Said person was Scorpius Malfoy. Scorpius was the meanest Hufflepuff you'd ever meet. He acted like a Slytherin, talked like a Slytherin, and his father was a Slytherin. But he was a Hufflepuff. He was nice if you got to meet him, but he also got a lot more freedom of pranks to play on you if you got to know him well enough.

Scorpius Malfoy and Albus Potter were best friends. They knew each other _very_ well.

But the stuff wasn't ice cream. It melted far less messily, and didn't smell like anything. Oh no, were they making scentless ice cream now? How unappealing...

Curiosity continued to gnaw at the young Ravenclaw, and he slowly sat up, still with his eyes closed. He'd wiped away most of the stuff, but it could've been ink or something. Scorpius was also very good at Potions.

Albus cracked open an eye. His eye refused to stay open in the dim morning light, and shut itself involuntarily. After a minute or two of blinking very, very slowly, the boy opened his eyes, and fixed the little droplet on his nose with an annoyed glare. Then he realized he'd gone cross-eyed by staring so intently at his nose, and chose to instead observe his fingers.

It looked like water. It didn't smell like anything. It was cold. But was it water? Albus frowned.

What kind of water melted?

As realization made an appearance, he practically face palmed. Really, he wondered how on Earth he'd even gotten into Ravenclaw sometimes.

But the true reason that Albus hadn't smacked himself in the face was that he was staring wide-eyed at the window. He gaped openly at the marvelous sight before him. He only closed his mouth when he caught himself drooling. Oh, the dangers of gaping, how great they were.

He looked around carefully. None of the other boys seemed to have woken up. He checked his watch. It was seven-fifty.

As good a time as any, he thought, as he excitedly pulled his shoes on, not even bothering to put on socks first or to change out of his pyjamas. He practically skipped out of his room, but that would've woken up the others. He was tempted to jump from one of their beds to the other until they all woke up, telling them all about how wonderful it was. But the voice at the back of his head, the Ravenclaw in him, told him how bloody stupid that would've been, so he didn't.

Right before stepping through the door, he doubled back to quickly stick his head out the window at a precarious angle. More of the stuff melted onto his face. He gave a little squeal of joy, his green eyes widening in amazement.

And then Albus grabbed his favourite blue robe and flew out the door.

* * *

><p>Scorpius Malfoy was snoring contentedly in his bed, not a bother in the world. A fireplace made tiny snapping sounds in the far back of the room, and the window was closed, and locked because Scorpius despised windows. There was almost a peaceful blue glow to the room, giving it the appearance of a calm little sanctuary. Unbeknownst to Scorpius, this pretty little effect was being created by the maltreated window.<p>

And that very effect was promptly destroyed as an infectiously cheerful Ravenclaw came bumbling into the room. He was probably trying to be quiet, but he failed miserably as he was simply so _jolly_ that morning.

"Scorpius! Scorpius get up!" he called softly.

Somewhere in Scorpius' mind, he could see a little blue-green blob chirping merrily. Perhaps it was a bird that had flown through the window.

Window?

"No, no windows..." mumbled the still-out-of-it little Hufflepuff. This caused Albus, as the noisy Ravenclaw was indeed Albus, to frown. But he instantly forgot and went back to poking his friend in the cheek with his finger. As soon as Scorpius stirred again, he stopped and waited.

All the other Hufflepuffs had woken up as Albus had made an entrance, and a few of them went back to sleep, being used to the unexpected visits. A few stayed awake, entertained by the show. They were amazed at how Scorpius was still asleep. Then again, he had been chatting ceaselessly with Albus until three in the morning.

Scorpius stirred again, and blinked open his eyes. His looked around blearily, not quite understanding why he'd woken up. Then he looked to his right and jumped a little with surprise as Albus stared at him from over the mattress, crouching on the floor in an oversized robe, with a grin so happy it was frightening plastered on his face and eyes open so wide you could see all the white around the green.

"Albus, what-" he mumbled groggily. Albus didn't let him finish.

"It's snowing, Scorpius," he said simply, and a little darkly, still with his freakish smile. He didn't seem to even blink as he sat still as far as Scorpius could tell. Scorpius stopped glaring at his friend and glanced at the window. It was indeed snowing, and everything outside had been bleached. So what? It was winter, so the sky cried frozen tears. It happened every year, right?

"Al... s'like five in th'morning... g'back t'bed..." he slurred. He knew that is very well wasn't five in the morning, because no five in the morning in winter would've been that bright.

And if it were five in the morning, that little Ravenclaw boy would still have been passed out in bed, as most of the other twelve year olds would've done by that point.

"_Scorpius_-"

"I mean it, go away-"

"It's _snowing_-"

"I'm well aware of the fact, thank you-"

"_Snowing_..." The boy was starting to scare Scorpius by that point. Had he slept enough? He did a quick count. It was probably around eight o'clock or something, and he had gone to bed at three... that was only five hours of sleep. Which meant that they should both have still been sleeping. He looked closer at the boy. Beneath his crazed expression were dark circles and a pale complexion.

"Al, go to bed." Albus blinked heavily.

"But, Scorpius, it's _snowing_..." His speech was getting slower. That was the first sign of adrenaline leaving the body. Well, it probably wasn't, but Scorpius thought it was.

"Al. Really. You're going to faint on my floor of you don't. Now _get_."

"But, Scor-"

"Go."

"Snowing..." Albus' eyes were really drooping now; it was only a matter of time. Well, getting him to leave was now out of the option.

"Al," Scorpius said, well aware that he was also quickly tiring, "just... go..." Scorpius yawned. He inwardly cursed his yawn, now _he_ was going to sleep. He didn't want to sleep! He wanted to torture someone...

Albus caught himself nodding and his head had slipped off the mattress. He still had a small smile on his face.

"Pretty snow..." Scorpius frowned. Albus was definitely the weirdest person while half-asleep that he'd ever known. Just then, Albus' eyes finally shut, and he fell sideways until he was lying on the floor, promptly falling asleep. And the crazy Ravenclaw was contained.

Scorpius paused before going back to sleep himself. Was he really asleep, or was he just acting so that he could sneak up on innocent snoozing Hufflepuffs again?

Scorpius slid his hand off the bed and searched around blindly until he found Albus' arm. He prodded it gently, and, satisfied with its unresponsiveness, he calmly turned around to face the other Hufflepuffs in his room. All that were awake had on very amused faces, and simply grinned back at him.

"How he got into Ravenclaw, I'll never know," one muttered to himself.

Scorpius snuggled into his blankets and promptly fell asleep.

But not before a final thought. He knew that Albus got into Ravenclaw for his hidden brilliance. That hidden brilliance made him Scorpius' friend and not his enemy.

We all seek brilliance, but we rarely acknowledge the different types of brilliance that there are; it's not all wit and logic and spontaneous ideas.

Scorpius smiled in his sleep. Albus was brilliant indeed.

A worthy Ravenclaw.

**Whoo! I'm done my first story!**

**It wasn't that bad, now was it? Come on~...**

**Please review! This might turn into a whole bunch of one shots and maybe a two shot if I feel that people like it! Even if you only thought it was terrible, or stupid, or plotless or all three, I just want to know, guys!**

**Thank you so much for reading it! ^^  
><strong>


	2. How to Bribe a Werewolf Out of Bed

**NO SLASH**

**Era : Marauders Era (when they're second years)**  
><strong>Featuring : Moony (Remus Lupin), Prongs (James Potter), Padfoot (Sirius Black), Wormtail (Peter Pettigrew), and the Whomping Willow.<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer : Characters belong to JK Rowling.<strong>  
><strong>Warning : Contains something of a manly pillow fight and mild British swearing used poorly by a Canadian. Oh! And I must warn you, it also contains a certain Sirius Black, you may have heard of?<strong>  
><strong>Remus Lupin's POV.<br>Summary : James, Sirius, and Peter want to go out to the Whomping Willow to hang out, but Remus wants to stay in bed. To what ends will they go to convince him to come?  
><strong>

**Hope you all like it! ^^ Don't be scared to review!**

Someone was shaking me.

Either that or it was an earthquake. But, knowing the friends I had, I was sure that it was not the case.

Also, I could hear Sirius Black screaming in my ear. That usually meant that he wanted me to get up. It wasn't the first time he'd done this to me, no, definitely not. Prongs had done it once, actually, but he had also woken up all the other people in the room, and they did not like that. They'd had their revenge on Sirius already, oh, how they had. But James? He was a new target.

Poor James.

My old roommates had eventually gotten so annoyed that they'd left, and James, Sirius, and Peter had moved in.

Sirius started shaking me even harder when I refused to acknowledge him. I normally would've woken up a lot earlier, but I had been studying the night before until well after midnight. My friends had thought it silly of me to study on a Saturday evening, but you never could study too much.

The screams lessened a degree to a tolerable of sound, so I could actually distinguish what they were saying.

"Remus! Remus Remus Remus! Reeeeeeeeeeemussy Remus _Remus_! Get up get up get _up_! _Reeeemus_! Remus!" chanted the unmistakeable voice of Padfoot.

"I think he's dead, Padfoot, there's no need to scream yourself hoarse." That must have been Prongs, naturally.

"He's dead?" came the frightened voice of Wormtail. Oh, poor innocent Peter. There was nothing you could really say to him.

"Oh, he's not dead, Peter, he's just... no, actually, he's dead. He's very much stone dead. Now let's _go,_" said James, as Peter made a little worried noise. Always the optimists, the pair of them, now weren't they?

Sirius seemed to have taken up a new chant. "Luuuuuupin! Luuuuuuuuuuupin! Lupinny Lupinny Lupin! Luuuuuuuuuuuuuu-" There came the well-known sound of James clapping his hand over Sirius' face.

"Shut up, Sirius, he's not coming. Let him sleep, you saw what time it was when we left him." Now _there_ was a little bit of sense.

But naturally, Padfoot would have none of that. "Remus John Lupin, you get up _right now_, or you'll find your underwear full of _crystallized lupine flowers_ for the next six years of your life!" Crystallized lupine flowers? That was a new one. It was usually "soap foam" or "Snivellus' hand lotion" or something. I wasn't sure if Severus even _used_ hand lotion, but I didn't really want to find out.

There was a moment of silence, in which I buried my face deeper into my pillow. Wolves need sleep, you know, and I wasn't about to let three little _domestic_ animals take it from me.

"We could... drag him... out of the bed..." suggested Peter. I mentally slapped myself for having let him hang around Sirius and James too much. It was affecting his mental sense.

I imagined Padfoot and Prongs' faces light up and break into grins, patting Wormtail on the head for being so creative. It always had to be creative.

"Remus, this is your last chance, and I expect you to take it, because after this, we'll do it, you know we will..." Oh, James, why should I listen to you, when you were going to do it no matter what my response was?

They waited. I mentally braced myself for the expected hard landing on the carpeted stone floor.

And then, they grabbed the sheets to my right, counted silently to three, and pulled on them as hard as they could. If you've never had three second years pull at your bedsheets, make sure you never do. It isn't the most pleasurable experience.

I gripped my pillow tightly under my head. I'd learned from experience that it was an obligatory feature of the Don't Die from Being Dragged out of Bed syndrome. I fell to the floor with my face still smushed into the pillow, and my toes managed to catch onto the corner of the blanket, which I snuggled into once it was on the floor with me. It was cold, after all. I heard scampering feet as the three of them rushed to my side, not to see if I was okay, but to make sure that I'd woken up.

And, to them, I hadn't. Sirius groaned. I smiled. I doubted that they could drag me off the floor, unless they went for the stairs. And I prayed to anything I could that they wouldn't think of it.

"I _told_ you he wouldn't get up," stated Prongs, planting a lighthearted kick on my foot that was sticking out under the covers. I brought it back under.

All throughout my little adventure, I'd had my eyes closed, but I opened them a crack to see what was happening. Everything hazy, but if I blinked, my eyes wouldn't open again. I saw Prongs' back, his front facing the others, and I saw Peter, looking worried about Padfoot's murderous expression, and I saw Padfoot's murderous expression directed at _me_.

"Remus..." he warned. I closed my eyes again and stuffed my head under the covers, curling up on my side on the floor. It wasn't that uncomfortable, surprisingly enough. Why, with my pillow, I could fall asleep anywhere in no time at all...

... and then Padfoot walked towards me and sat pointedly on the lump under the blanket he probably supposed was my side. It was indeed my side, and I gave out a surprised squeak when he sat down. I struggled weakly to get him off. He didn't move. God, he was so _heavy_...

"Er, Sirius, what are you doing?" asked James. As if the question needed to be asked.

"Why, I'm sitting down on this lovely little lump here. It's surprisingly comfortable. Could've been a little more cushiony, though. Care to join me?" No-one answered, predictably. They were too busy savouring the moment. Well, I'm sure James was. I'm not too sure what Wormtail does on these occasions.

There was an uncomfortable silence, in which Padfoot wiggled his sit-bones into my arm and side.

"Sirius, I heard something crack, you should get off him," said James, but I could hear the laughter in his voice. But what he said was true, I felt one of my ribs make a cracking noise. Not loud enough to be worrying, but enough to annoy me.

"Dear Prongs, I don't believe _lumps_ make any sounds. Are you suggesting that this isn't a lump?" said Sirius, innocently. Oh, I was going to kill him. The reason I hadn't made any sound up until then was because he was so heavy that it took all of my energy to not flop over onto my back, and I did _not_ want Sirius sitting on my chest, in fighting range with my face. Or worse, he could _sit _on my face. James laughed.

"Oh, Padfoot, come off it, I think you're killing him."

"But you said that he was dead before, so how can you kill a dead person?" asked Peter, confused as he was.

"Yes, Prongs, how? Tell us, please," said Sirius, folding his arms as he did so, and pressing down with his weight so hard that I gasped a little as the pressure increased.

"Padfoot, really, you eat a _lot_. Far more than Moony there. You're going to kill him!"

"But you said-"

"Shut up, Peter," he said hastily, not wanting to deal with the rat. Padfoot pushed down even harder, if that was even possible, and my strength crumbled and I flopped onto my back, bringing Sirius onto my chest, where he simply sat there with his arms crossed, staring at me. My eyes were open now, and I was glaring at him with all I had.

"Oh, _hello_, Moony! Didn't _see_ you there!" I gathered every little bit of air I could under the pressure over my lungs that made it hard to breathe.

"Get... off... me..." my voice was raspy and quiet, like that of a dying person. Sirius really was pressing hard.

"Hmm? Oh what? Sorry, dear Remus, I can't quite hear you. Care to speak up?" Sirius said, putting a hand around his ear and frowning sardonically.

"You... bloody... git... get... _off_!" With the last word, I pushed with all my strength against the boy, but he barely moved a couple of centimetres higher before regaining his seat. I huffed out a sigh. Padfoot was a fool, but he wasn't stupid. He'd stopped pressing down so hard, at least.

James giggled amusedly. I glared at him. He tried unsuccessfully to stifle his laugh. Sirius turned towards Peter.

"So, Wormtail, what do you think? Should I get off, or not?" The boy in question looked pensive. I nodded with all my might at him, but he ignored me. He then cracked a smile; a sly grin that I'd seen far too often on my comrades to know that it was a good thing.

"Well," he started, and then cleared his throat. "I don't see the point, if he's _dead_, he won't mind, will he?" Sirius laughed. Then Prongs, as he often came out as the wisest of the three of them, looked at me. Seeing my extremely annoyed look, he knew what to do. Oh, he was smart to know to stay off the _werewolf's_ nerves!

"Padfoot, why dishonour the dead? You'll put your own end at risk of coming early." Sirius paused, most likely wondering why Prongs was taking my side.

"But, James-" By that point, I had freed my right arm and slapped him across the back of his head. Not as effective as his face, but he wasn't facing me. He turned towards me, a look of surprise on his face. I glared at him.

"Sirius Black, get off me this instant you bloody wanking _git_!" Peter gasped while James chuckled.

"Moony, watch your tongue!" said James, mockingly.

But I wasn't listening to them. I was staring patiently at Sirius, ready to slap him again if need came. Sirius slowly got up and off of me. I felt extremely light as the pressure suddenly ceased. I sighed contentedly and prepared myself to go back to sleep, still tired regardless of the recent events. I had just closed my eyes and sleep had only just welcomed me, when Sirius grabbed my wrist and pulled me forcefully to my feet. I gave a little noise of surprise and shivered slightly in my flannel pajamas.

"Really, Remus, we're not letting you sleep after all that!" said James, supplying Sirius. I grumbled at them. Sirius smiled mischievously, something I wasn't too fond of. I tried to take a step away from him, but he was still holding my arm. He noticed what I'd been doing, much to my displeasure.

"Oh, Moony, no, of _course_ not, you're coming with us!" I gulped. With these three, or more specifically those two, that could mean anything. And by anything, I mean positively _anything. _

As I was finally standing and my vision had cleared, I saw that all three boys were still in their nightclothes, and only Peter had bothered to grab a robe.

"Padfoot, when... when did you wake up?" I asked curiously.

He shrugged. "Around the same time you died, I'd say." James gave a puff of laughter. Then they regained their seriousness, if not only slightly. "We woke up early, like _eight_ _o'clock_, Moony. _Eight_ o'clock! Can you believe it?" I frowned.

"Did you only wake me up... to tell me that?"

"No, no of course not!" exclaimed James.

"Not that it isn't a feat in itself," said Sirius, smiling. "It's around..." he paused an grabbed my other wrist, spinning me around, to get at my wristwatch, "eight... fifteen, I'd say, right now." James then took my wrist from Sirius and looked for himself.

"It's eight forty-five," he stated. That answer was more trustworthy, I supposed, so long as they stopped fighting over my arm.

Everyone was silent again after that, apparently having forgotten what we had been talking about after that.

"So, um..." I said after a while, "what... exactly... _did_ you want... to tell me?" Padfoot snapped his fingers.

"Right. _We_," he gestured to himself, "came to tell _you_," this time he gestured to me and I smacked his hand in annoyance, "that it's Sunday and that we want to spend our precious _Sunday_, last day of the week, with _you_, dear Remus!" All three boys ginned like idiots. I glared at each of them separately, and all for different reasons. I glared at Prongs, because he was usually the wise one (when the time came to be wise), and he should not have let them drag me out of my warm and comfy bed. I glared at Wormtail, for _suggesting _to drag me out of the warm and comfy bed. And finally, I glared at Padfoot, mainly because I simply could, but also because he'd _sat _on me as I'd been dragged out of my warm and comfy bed, and because he'd screamed in my ear while I was asleep, and because he was simply a _lunatic_.

"I'm going back to bed," I stated.

"But Remus," said Sirius, pouting like the dog that he was, "we want to be with you..."

"Please, Moony? We'll help you with your homework!" said Peter. Like I needed any help with my homework! _I _was always the one to help _them_. I still shook my head.

"Lily _looked _at me-_really_, she _looked _at me!-but that Snivelling Slytherin made her look away! I need you to help me get my revenge!" wailed James. I really didn't care about his girl troubles. Lily was nice, and didn't despise me as she did James, but it was clear that she was friends with Severus, and I didn't see too much wrong with that. James just picked the wrong girl, maybe.

"No, I am _not _coming! I'm _going _back to bed." Sirius put a hand on my shoulder and motioned for me to come closer. "If you try to bite me again," I warned,

"I _will _kill you." Sirius rolled his eyes and leaned in closer. I was about to retort when he whispered to me.

"Remus, I'll bring _chocolate_," he whispered, silently so the others wouldn't hear. Wow. Chocolate. He really wanted me to come, didn't he?

Well, I'd always had a problem... never being able to refuse chocolate. But I had my reasons. Chocolate was a cure for a great number of things, unlike what most people knew. They could make negative emotions die down, and so were, theoretically, effective against dementor problems.

I didn't speak for a while, just gawked at my friend, trying to detect a lie. Padfoot smiled smugly, satisfied at my expression, and started to back away. I quickly grabbed him by the collar and pulled him back.

"Prove it," I hissed. I heard Prongs and Wormtail muttering, but I couldn't bother with them right then. If there was chocolate involved, I _would _get some. Sirius raised an amused eyebrow. I probably looked like a psychotic chocolate demon, but that _was _technically accurate. He then produced five packs of chocolate from a pocket in his pants, turned so the others couldn't see. I simply gaped at the golden wrappers around the glorious, soft, rich goodness that was inside. Sirius moved them back and forth in front of me, and my head involuntarily followed. Sirius chuckled softly in amusement. I quickly caught myself and looked away forcefully.

"You are _not _bribing me," I said, trying to sound controlled and not chocolate-crazy like I was.

"Er, guys..." mumbled James, feeling left out no doubt, "... what are you talking about?" Sirius ignored him and grabbed my head, whispering in my ear once more.

"The extra one is for you too," he said softly. I practically hugged him for that, but I thankfully knew how to restrain myself. But I couldn't help myself from splitting my face with a goofy grin. Sirius turned back to James.

"Don't worry, Prongs, he's coming. You can spill all your girl troubles on him," he snickered. I stopped dead in my tracks. No, anything but that... I'd spoken to James on the topic once already. It wasn't too bad at first, but it kept repeating, and it was simply ridiculous. I did not want to live through it again.

Unfortunately, Padfoot saw me stop. He stopped as well, and turned towards me. The other two looked back at us. Then Sirius exploited my weakness, taking out a chocolate bar and shaking it lightly, as if to taunt a dog. To my great displeasure, my feet slid forward against my will into an awkward step toward them. Peter and James started laughing, realizing what was going on. Great.

I felt my face heat up and grabbed my robe from the chair where I'd left it. "Just... shut up, you lot! Let's just go!"

And with that, we left, but not before more snickering and teasing, and annoyed slapping.

We soon arrived at the bank of the lake where the giant squid resided and sat down under our favourite tree.

As soon as I'd sat down, Sirius broke off a tiny piece of chocolate from the first bar, and tossed it in the air. I threw myself to the ground and caught it, and landed flat on my back on the roots of the tree. We all burst out laughing.

And that was how most of our Sundays came to be; sitting shoulder to shoulder under a large willow tree, the one we'd cursed to ward off trespassers if they came too close to the secret passageway to the Shrieking Shack. We knocked the knob and kept it off when it was far from the full moon, and left it that way until a few days before the full moon. And the sunlight rained through the branches in golden ribbons, never blinding us, but always adding to the happy environment. We'd tell stories and joke around, sometimes even do our homework, and Sirius would always pass me chocolate.

As I glimpsed my friends' smiling faces from where I lay on the ground, I came to realize something.

We had all ended up loving Sundays.

**Tah-dah! It's done. **

**What did you think of my wannabe Britishness?**

**Please read and review! It's not just a single one shot anymore! Come oooooon, just click the blue button and type a word or two! I'll give you pie!  
><strong>

**^^ Thank you very much for reading it!**


	3. Draco and Neville's Bonding Time

**NO SLASH**

**Era : Golden Trio Era (second year)**  
><strong>Featuring : Neville Longbottom, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Severus Snape, Madam Pomfrey, a bunch of unimportant students, and a psychotic plant.<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer : Characters (minus the psychotic plant) belong to JK Rowling.<strong>  
><strong>Warning : Contains intense mood swings and EXTREME OOCness, gross descriptions of things not needed to be described, a psychotic plant, unicorn threats, and an angry Snape.<strong>  
><strong>No one's POV, but mainly Neville-centric.<strong>  
><strong>Summary : Neville Longbottom has fed a plant a bad potion, and the plant runs around, biting people, causing them to have intense mood swings. What will happen when an infected Neville and Draco are left alone in the hospital wing?<strong>

**I hope you like it! Don't be scared to review, even a single word is nice! I got two reviews up until now! I know that's not much to be proud of, but I'm really happy! Which is sort of pitiful!  
>This goes to LongLastingDreams, whose idea I have twisted beyond recognition, and whose review made me so happy I cried ^^ I really hope you like it!<strong>

Neville Longbottom never was very good in potions class.

Naturally, that made him all the more eager to do well, which often resulted in his failing worse than he thought he should have. This made Neville sad. But Neville's toad, Trevor, always reassured him. At least, when he wasn't running-or more accurately, hopping-away. Neville excelled in herbology, but that wasn't much to be proud of, judging by people's reactions. But Neville liked herbology. He felt like he belonged there.

He almost wished he was in Hufflepuff, like Professor Sprout, so it would seem more normal for him to always go to the greenhouse, but at the same time, he was very proud at being in Gryffindor...

So one day, when Neville was in potions class, he made a mistake. Professor Snape was angry. Very angry. Neville didn't like Professor Snape, and was in fact something of a Snape-o-phobe. A few Slytherins noticed his growing pallor and snickered. Harry and his friends looked like they wanted to help, but they all knew they couldn't, for fear of angering the potions teacher further. Professor Snape's loathing of the three, especially Mister Potter, was widely known across the school. But a bit of fortune for Neville came out of that; Professor Snape paid less attention to him if Harry Potter was doing anything. Neville was used to being ignored. It was sometimes useful to be constantly forgotten.

But Neville was also not a very lucky boy. His potion was meant to make the flower on his desk glow in the dark. When he slowly, drop by drop, fed the plant with his flamboyant orange potion, it sprouted a mouth and legs, and proceeded to jump up and run around the room, screaming, until Snape caught it. It bit him a number of times before he managed to subdue it. No one was going to forget that.

That was why Snape was angry, his pale face made all the more frightening by the swollen pink bite mark under his left eye.

Professor Snape tromped up to Neville's desk and promptly leaned forward to glower at the boy. Neville scooted backwards a little in his chair, trembling.

"Longbottom," he said slowly, carefully spitting out each syllable. Everyone in the room was staring.

"Y-yes s-s-sir-r?" whimpered Neville, stammering, all the while shaking like a frozen chihuahua. Snape narrowed his eyes at his victim.

"_What_-did-you-_give_-that-flower, _Longbottom_?" Neville gulped and felt himself tremble even harder. There was something about the way Snape said his name, so deadly calm, that made him want to crawl under the roots of a dead tree and shrivel to dust. Just then, some light pink pus began leaking steadily out of the flower bite. Neville paled even more, looking more and more like a corpse.

"P-Professor," he squeaked nervously, "P-Prof-fessor S-S-Snap-pe, s-sir... y-your... um..." Snape glared at him.

"Out with it, boy!" he spat angrily. Neville made a whimpering squeaky sound. The pus was now dripping down to his chin into a quickly growing puddle of pink; the flow was intensifying by the second.

"Th-the... th-the-the b-b-bite, s-sir..." he wasn't only stuttering because of Snape anymore. The puddle was enough to frighten anyone, and he could hear a few sickened gasps from the people around them. Snape didn't seem to notice.

"Yes, Longbottom? And what of it?" the potions master asked furiously. The boy in question wanted nothing more than to look away, to break the intense eye contact, but he found that he couldn't. Neville was sure he was annoyed by his lack of clear answers. He tried to control his stutter as much as possible when again he spoke.

"It's..." his voice came out strangled, cracking at random intervals. He coughed. It didn't help, "oozing... um..." Snape frowned. He slowly brought up a hand from where it was firmly planted on Neville's desk, the other hand still holding the squirming flower. He took a bit of pus on his finger and inspected it. The pink stuff began to slowly drip off his pointed fingertip to join the puddle, now oozing onto the floor, on Neville's desk. Snape sniffed the substance. His face wrinkled in disgust.

He then proceeded to lick his finger, tasting the pink goo. A few-no, a lot of-students gave small proclamations of disgust. Now that Snape's attention was off of him, Neville could look around. His fellow classmates' faces were green. Ron looked the most sickened. A close second was Draco, who seemed ready to vomit on his buddies.

The Professor swallowed the small amount he'd gotten into his mouth, and frowned.

He promptly fainted forward, landing on Neville's desk and, incidentally, into his puddle of pus, and Neville's chair tipped backwards as he tried in a panic to get away from the falling Professor.

It must have been an odd scene; Professor Snape, covered in bite marks, oozing pink pus, lying sprawled across Neville's desk, and Neville, sitting in his toppled-over chair with his back on the floor, feet in the air.

Hushed murmurs broke out across the room. No one really knew what to do; it wasn't exactly a common situation.

And then Severus Snape's hand went limp, and the screaming flower was released. It ran around the professor for a few seconds, seeming quite angry, before storming off towards the students. There was a collective hustle of noise as everyone-except for Neville, still on the floor-jumped from their seats to scramble onto their desks. The hushed murmurs had evolved into partial screaming and panicked exclamations. Unfortunately for Neville, still in his chair, shocked still, the deranged flower found him first, sinking its teeth into the flesh of his hand. Neville yelped and shook his hand spasmodically, trying to dislodge the psychopathic plant. He eventually did, sending it onto Malfoy's table, where it sunk its fangs into the closest thing, which happened to be Malfoy himself. The boy in question shrieked, and wildly tore the thing off of his neck and smashed it onto the floor. Draco then clutched his neck, his face scrunched up in terror.

"It's bit me!" he shrieked. "It's _bit _me! I'm going to die! Kill it! KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT! Wait until my father hears about this!" he then broke off with a lot more '_it's bit me_'s before his breathing hitched and his eyes rolled back in his head. Nobody caught him as he fell unceremoniously to the floor.

The plant, quite sadly, was not yet finished. It tore through the dungeon, nipping at students as it passed, only to finally meet its end as Ron Weasley, eyes wide, slammed his potions manual onto it, effectively squashing it flat. It let out a long, low moan, before it finally went silent.

There was a small pause before the students cautiously began running around the room again, a few of them screaming. There were a few '_I'll go get Madam Pomfrey_'s from people who ran out the door. A bunch of Slytherins crowded around Draco. A few reluctantly went to Professor Snape's side, who remained unresponsive. None of them got too near, though. He was still covered in pink pus. A few other people had been bitten. More students surrounded them, asking them questions. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were helping Neville.

"Neville, are you alright?" asked Hermione, grabbing one of his arms as Harry grabbed the other.

"Um... yes, I... I think... I'm better off than Professor Snape, though... oh no, he's going to kill me when he wakes up!"

"That's not definite," stated Ron, "I mean, the flower, the potion you gave it, it might make him forget everything. You never know," he said, shrugging.

Neville was now fully standing, both friends at his sides supporting him.

"Neville," asked Harry, "do you think you can walk on your own?"

Neville didn't hesitate as he shook his head. He was already starting to feel lightheaded. He was doing all he could to not look at his hand, but he could feel the thick liquid dripping from the bite.

"Just walk with us, Neville. We'll help you," said Hermione's voice. It sounded farther and farther away... What were those pretty lights dancing about?

"Neville?" Neville wasn't even sure who said it, as he was already falling to the floor, his friends' hands just barely slowing his fall. Everything flickered and went black...

* * *

><p>Neville woke up to moans coming from his left. He slowly opened his eyes, registering that his hand was wrapped in a bandage, and that he was in the infirmary. The moaning was coming from Draco, sitting up in his bed and clutching his neck.<p>

"You're awake, mister Longbottom, I see." Neville turned toward the voice. Madam Pomfrey was hovering above him, straightening his blanket and fluffing his pillows.

"... What happened?" asked Neville, his voice surprisingly strong. He sat up in bed, inspecting his bandaged hand.

"The plant that bit you," she explained, "caused you to lose consciousness. You may experience some mood swings in the next few hours, but you'll be fine." Neville frowned. Mood swings? What did she mean by...

Draco suddenly erupted in giggles. Madam Pomfrey hastily tromped over, checking him over. She nodded to herself. Draco smiled gleefully at her, letting out a small laugh every now and then.

"This is the first of the mood swings," said the nurse, "glee."

"Is that going to happen to me?" asked Neville nervously. Madam Pomfrey nodded.

"It's not especially serious, you'll just be a lot happier. Can't say there's much wrong with that, but I'll warn you if you're nearing angst or fury. I'll come back to check on you if you're smiling a whole lot more." With that, she left the infirmary, leaving it in partial silence. Draco's echoing giggles filled the large space.

Neville started feeling very very pleased about something. He didn't know what. There was a feeling of warmth coursing through his veins. It made him laugh. Everything was bathed in a warm and buttery light. It was very nice, he thought. Neville's eyes moved over to the other giggling boy. They grinned at each other.

"Hey Neville," said Draco, completely out of character with his pleasant voice, "let's play a game!" Neville giggled and nodded emphatically. Both boys beamed at each other.

"What should we play?" Neville asked. Draco thought for a moment, and then his eyes lit up with an idea. The smile brightened.

"Do you know how to jump rope without a rope?" Neville's grin would have widened, were it not already at its limit.

There was a small moment of silence in which the boys grinned gleefully at each other. Then they both erupted in giggles, falling back onto their beds with their feet in the air.

* * *

><p>"Could we see him?" Harry asked Madam Pomfrey. The trio had been pestering her for the better part of ten minutes, and she was getting tired.<p>

She sighed. "Fine, but be warned, he may not be acting the way he usually would." She glanced at a clock on the wall. "The next mood swing should take place in fifteen minutes. I'll try to be there. If he gets violent, please, just get out of there."

"Thank you, Madam Pomfrey. Come on," she said to her friends, ushering them out of the room.

They ran to the hospital wing to check on their friend. They had left him alone with Malfoy, after all.

They pushed through the double doors and stopped cold at the sight before them.

Neville and Draco were holding hands, giggling and humming joyful little tunes, jumping up and down at regular intervals. Were they... were they _dancing_?

Ron was the first to unfreeze. "Er... should leave them to their... dancing?"

They couldn't though. The two hopping boys broke away from each other, rather gracefully, spinning around mid-jump. They landed simultaneously facing the newcomers.

"Harry! Ron! Hermione!" Neville exclaimed joyfully. "Do you guys want to join us?"

"It's really fun," Draco giggled, nodding emphatically. The three at the door frowned, all with their mouth agape and head slightly tilted to the side. Neville laughed; a cheery, airy sound.

"You all look so funny! Come on," he said, stepping forward and taking Ron's hand. Ron seemed genuinely afraid. Draco took hold of Harry's hand. Harry stared at him in astonishment. Neville and Draco skipped off, dragging Ron and Harry with them.

"H-Hermione!" yelped Ron as Neville spun him around like a ballerina.

"What should I do?" she called, not having moved from the door. Ron didn't hear her as Neville waltzed right up close to him, humming loudly in his ear. Harry received similar treatment from Draco. Instead of trying to get away, as he didn't know what Draco would be capable of in his... state, he danced along as best he could, calmly asking him to let him go every time they stopped spinning. Draco didn't listen.

"Oh my God, Draco, please let me go, this is so weird..." he pleaded, looking his dance partner in the eye. Draco grinned widely for a second more, and then his face fell. He paled. The rest of his body fell as well as he curled up into a ball on the floor.

"No... nooooo nooo... Harry won't dance with me... Harry doesn't like me... Oh, I am a terrible dancer... no one likes me... nooo..." he murmured, rocking back and forth. Harry looked around nervously. This had to be the second of the mood swings, so Neville would be soon to follow. He crouched down next to Draco.

"Draco?" he whispered nervously to the shaking boy. Draco shook his head and scooted away.

"Nooo... you don't want to dance with me... I'm a terrible dancer..." he whimpered.

"Draco? I'll... er... I'll dance with you, you're not terrible..." Draco burst into tears, burying his face in his knees. Harry gave a start of surprise.

"Nooooooooo... I'm... I'm... I'm a ho-horrible p-p-person..."

"No, Draco, you're not a horrible person... you may be nasty sometimes, but you're not all bad," Harry soothed. Draco sobbed into his knees. Well, nothing more to do here, Harry thought. He looked at Ron and Neville. Neville was still smiling... but wouldn't be for long.

Neville still felt warm and cheerful. The room was still a magnificent place filled with light. Then the light dimmed slightly, turning a greyish shade of blue. He saw Ron's face, filled with nervous fear and... was that disgust?

Neville melted, halting the dance. He stepped away from Ron, sniffling.

"Neville?" Ron asked, frowning.

No, Ron didn't care. Neville didn't deserve his caring. He was a terrible person and the world didn't like him. Dumbledore wanted him out of the way so Harry and his friends could save the world. He was insignificant.

"Nooooooo," he moaned, much like Draco. He sank to the floor, face in his knees. Ron looked imploringly at Harry. Harry pointed at the blubbering ball on the floor that was Malfoy. Hermione was gesticulating wildly, motioning them over. They hastily complied. Well, they tried. Neville grabbed hold of Ron's foot as he tried to leave, nearly tripping him.

"No... Don't leeeeave meeee, Rooooooon..." he whimpered. Ron shook his foot out of his friend's grip, muttering a 'sorry' and running to Hermione and Harry, who were with Madam Pomfrey.

"Yes, there we have it. The second of the mood swings. Angst. It should pass in a few minutes, it's a short one."

"How do you know this, Madam Pomfrey?" Harry asked. The nurse gave a small laugh.

"Professor Snape was bitten first, I'll remind you. He was admitted early, and I appointed him to some private quarters. It was rather disconcerting to have him blubber about his girlfriend or something. What was her name? Lola? Well, it doesn't matter."

"What is after angst, Madam Pomfrey?" asked Hermione. Madam Pomfrey paused in thought.

"That would be rage. It is extremely violent, yet quicker than angst. The last is love, quickest of them all. Barely a minute. Professor Snape is resting at the moment, back to normal, if you wanted to know. Well, it should be rage any sec-" She was interrupted by Draco's loud indignant yell as he jumped up from his crouching position.

"WHO LEFT ME ON THIS FILTHY FLOOR? MY FATHER WILL HEAR OF THIS! YOU SHALL ALL MEET YOUR ENDS AT MY HANDS!" The four people at the door winced at the shrillness of his voice. He turned to them, and set his eyes on none other than his former dance partner. "_YOU!_ YOU WOULDN'T DANCE WITH ME, YOU BLOODY GIT!" he started running towards them, just as Madam Pomfrey shut the doors. There was a loud _smack_ as he made contact with the wood. He screamed in anger.

"Bloody hell..."

"Will he hurt himself?" Hermione asked. Madam Pomfrey shook her head.

"It's not likely."

"Will he hurt Neville?" Harry asked nervously. Madam Pomfrey didn't answer for a while, thinking.

"He should get his final mood swing before that could happen..."

"RON! GET IN HERE! YOU MUST DANCE WITH ME! I DEMAND IT!" Neville screamed. He had never sounded so terrifying.

Madam Pomfrey frowned at the two boys before her. "Honestly, what were you doing in there before I arrived?" No one answered.

"WHERE ARE YOU, POTT-Neville?" His voice took on a strange note. "Oh, _hello_, Neville! Don't you look handsome today?" Harry and Ron burst out laughing. Hermione looked horrified.

"RON, WHEN I FIND YOU, I'LL STICK A UNICORN UP YOUR ARSE, AND I'LL MAKE SURE THAT IT-MALFOY GET AWAY FROM ME!" he shrieked.

"Can you open the door?" Ron whispered. Madam Pomfrey looked questionably at the young man, but obliged all the same. The doors opened to reveal Neville, marching about angrily, swatting at Draco, who was floating behind him with a dreamy look on his face. Neville stopped marching and stared at Ron as soon as he realized that he was there. Draco squealed with delight and rubbed a hand up and down Neville's arm.

"My, my, _Nevillie_, you're so tense. Maybe I could-"

"Fetch me a unicorn," Neville growled menacingly. Then his eyes glazed over and he frowned. He squinted like he couldn't see, and closed his eyes, rubbing them. When he reopened them, he was still staring at Ron, but in a strange way. He looked him up and down, hungrily drinking up the image. He smiled mischievously. Ron gulped and backed away. Love struck Neville seemed to be scarier than enraged Neville. "_Hellooo_, Ron," he crooned. He took a step closer to them. Draco still had his eyes glazed over as he stared dreamily at Neville.

Then Draco groaned and rubbed his eyes with the hand that wasn't still rubbing Neville's arm. He blinked a few times confusedly, before fixing his gaze on the hand on Neville's arm. He snatched his hand away in disgust, shuddering.

"_What_ happened?" he muttered, horrified.

"You and Neville got some bonding time," Ron said. He would have said more, but Neville winked at him saucily, so he backed out of the room, dragging his friends with him.

"Bye, Neville!" Harry laughed, before he was dragged away.

"Bye, Ron," Neville replied seductively. Then he frowned and rubbed at his eyes. He blinked repeatedly much like Draco had.

Draco backed away. "Oh God, what is the _matter_ with you?" It took Neville a moment to focus on him.

"What?" The unusual lighting was gone, and everything was back to normal.

"Alright, that's enough excitement for one day," Madam Pomfrey announced, ushering them to their beds. They hadn't the time to utter a single word before the lights were off and they were alone.

"... Draco?" Neville whispered.

"Don't talk to me, Longbottom!" Draco snapped.

"No, no, it's really important..." Draco sighed dramatically.

"If anyone asks, I never talked to you, alright?"

"Alright."

"Okay. What do you want?"

"... You know how Professor Snape was bitten?"

"That was your fault."

"Well, he got bitten more than once..."

"So?"

"... Is it possible to go through the mood swings more than once?"

"..."

"Draco?"

"Have fun in hell, Longbottom."

All thoughts were interrupted by the gleeful giggling of none other than Severus Snape that got louder and softer as he skipped past the doors, followed by an unnerved McGonagall.

Would hell be that bad, Neville wondered?

"Hell is a terrible place, Longbottom."

"Thank you so much, Malfoy."

**Oh my God. That was so full of crack I don't even**―

**Thank you for reading this! Please review! If only a word or two, it doesn't matter! I want to hear from you guys!**

**OH HEY, THE REVIEW BUTTON IS DIFFERENT. WHY DON'T YOU TRY IT OUT ^^ please?**

**Well, I really hope you liked it! And I'm sorry that I am the epitome of slowness, but so few people reviewed that I got a little discouraged... so please, please review!**

**... lol, I was never one for good endings XD I'm so sorry if it burned your eyes.**


	4. Don't Trust Your Cousins

**NO SLASH**

**Era : Next Generation**  
><strong>Featuring : Ravenclaw!Albus, Ravenclaw!Rose, and Hufflepuff!Scorpius, and felinity. Which is totally a word. <strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer : Characters belong to JK Rowling. I'm just... permanently scarring your ideas of them. <strong>  
><strong>Warning : This is like a very long crackfic. Seriously. There are catboys in this thing. Be warned. <strong>  
><strong>No one's POV.<strong>  
><strong>Summary : Albus comes knocking on Rose's door, because Scorpius has been turned into a cat. And Albus is quick to follow, leaving Rose with two strange little cats in her room. Yep. Sounds like a crackfic.<strong>

**Hope you like it, imaginary readers!**

There was a knock at the door in the Ravenclaw girl's dorm.

"Coming!" called Rose Weasley, the only occupant in the room, setting her book down.

She took a step back in surprise as she opened the door. There stood her cousin Albus, and in his arms was a ball of white hair. Then the ball moved.

It was a kitten, a slightly blondish white with a black-tipped tail and curious blue eyes. It was insanely fluffy; most likely a hassle to brush.

And it was adorable.

"Aww!" she cooed, jutting her index finger out so the kitten could sniff it. She was slightly disappointed and surprised when the cat did _not_ sniff it, but simply stared at her finger for a second, before looking up at her face. Its expression bore a clear message. _Really? _Rose stepped back, slightly alarmed at the irritated cat.

"Um, Al..." she began uncertainly, not sure what she was trying to say. Albus huffed and replied anyways.

"Scor and I may have run into a little... problem," he said quietly, testing out the words. Rose raised an eyebrow at him as he set down a wizard robe, a shirt, and a pair of pants by the door. Whose were they? The kitten started flailing around half-heartedly, mewling and demanding attention. Rose spared him a glance and it stared up at her hopefully.

"What's wrong with your cat?"

Albus seemed to find that funny as he stifled a chuckle. "_Everything's_ wrong with it. It's Scorpius," he stated in a matter-of-fact kind of tone.

Rose took a second to process the information. Her eyes widened. She stared at the cat-at Scorpius-and he sheepishly met her gaze with slitted pupils. Then she frowned and crossed her arms, composing herself. "What did you do?" she demanded.

Albus stared at her and frantically shook his head. "No, no! It wasn't me! It was Roxanne, I swear!" Roxanne Weasley. No surprise there, she always did like to pull pranks on the unsuspecting, much like her father had. Her older brother Fred, named after his father's late brother, didn't like to be associated with her crazy ideas, but everyone knew he had a part in them. Roxanne was a third year; a year older than Albus, Scorpius and Rose, and Fred was a fourth year. Her jokes were getting increasingly serious, such as turning Scorpius into a cat. But since she was their cousin, she normally didn't attack Al or Rose. Normally.

Rose sighed. "What did she do? A spell? Potion?" Albus nodded at the last one. "Is there any way to fix it?"

"It should wear off with time..."

"How did she convince him to drink it?"

"Erm..."

"Do I want to know?"

"No," said Albus without hesitation. He stepped into the room and closed the door, setting the squirming cat onto the ground, where it began to explore, tripping over its furry paws every few seconds. Scorpius sat down right in the middle of the room, his tail swishing lazily across the floor. Albus had a guilty expression on his face as he stood back up. Rose noticed and frowned.

"What aren't you telling me, Albus?"

Albus sent her a pleading look, sighing resignedly. "There's a little more to this problem."

Rose stared expectantly, so he continued.

"I drank some of the potion too."

* * *

><p>"<em>Why<em> would you hinder me with this?" Rose asked exasperatedly. She was tired of dealing with all their problems, no matter how cute or cuddly. "I was in the middle of a perfectly good Friday evening."

Albus looked sheepish. "I'm sorry, Rose..."

Rose sighed. "I'm not surprised about Scorpius, but _you_? Al, you're a Ravenclaw! What goes on in your mind, anyways?"

"I don't know," Albus shrugged.

Rose shook her head, her red mane of curls flying everywhere. "My, doesn't _that_ answer my question." Then she frowned as realization hit her. "Why aren't you a cat yet?" It was meant to be a question, but it sounded more like an accusation.

"I took the potion after Scor did."

"How long after?"

Al shrugged. "Around ten minutes?"

"And how long has he been a cat?"

"Around... ten... minutes..."

"Oh my God Al," Rose exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air dramatically. "Are you going to be screaming in agony on my floor or is it quick? Is it messy?"

"I don't think it hurts... Scorpius didn't say anything."

"He-can't-_talk_."

"Oh... well, just... please don't tell James!" he exclaimed, suddenly changing the subject. "He'd make such fun of me I would die..."

Rose sighed. "Fine. I won't tell. But is it _messy?_" she asked again, more forcefully this time. She did _not_ want to get the room's floor covered in hair. Or blood. Or _whatever_.

"Em... well, not really, but-" he didn't have the chance to continue as he suddenly gasped as a shock went through him. He toppled over to the floor. Rose was too frightened to do anything as he writhed on the floor, groaning uncomfortably. His dark hair started growing thickly on the rest of his body, and he started flailing in a panic as his limbs shortened and his ears moved to the top of his head, elongated and covered in fine black hair. He then began to shrink. Rose watched with more fascination than worry as his robes grew too big for him and he was buried beneath the cloth. A few more seconds passed as a small twitching lump resided beneath the black robe, and then was still. Scorpius the cat, having wisely kept his distance as the boy changed, padded forward and started pawing at the clothes, turning and meowing softly at Rose when he couldn't do anything to help his friend, who was now a flailing lump as oppose to a still one.

Rose snapped out of her stupor and gently raised the cloth. A tiny black kitten stumbled out of the folds and hit the floor, face first.

"Oh!" Rose gasped, kneeling down. "Al, I'm sorry." The kitten shook its tiny head and got onto its four legs shakily. It looked up at Rose, and then stumbled backwards at how close and _big _she was. Before it could fall over again, the white kitten slid behind it and pushed it back up. The black kitten looked at the other as it gazed back. They tilted their fluffy heads simultaneously and sat down in front of each other, pawing at the air together, mirroring each other.

Rose raised an amused eyebrow at their behaviour.

But on the inside, she wanted to cuddle them to death. They were just so _adorable_.

* * *

><p><em>Al? How do you feel?<em> said Scorpius' voice, echoing through Albus' mind. Albus spun around to stare at him. Scorpius gazed back with clear blue eyes.

_We can talk in each other's minds?_ he said, surprised. He tilted his head. Scorpius did the same. _This is really strange_. They sat down.

_Now you know how I feel_, Scorpius said, pawing the air. Albus immediately had all his attention focused on the paw, mirroring its actions. _Al... what are you doing?_

Albus tilted his head again. _I don't know, I just felt like doing that. Instincts, maybe_? Scorpius got up from where he was seated to walk around his friend in a circle.

_You're really small_, he commented simply. Albus' ears flattened against his fluffy skull. But when the white cat saw the black one's back, his back arched in surprise and he gasped. Well, not gasped, exactly. It came out as more of a hiss. Rose, still in the room but unable to hear their silent conversation, looked around at what had shocked the cat so much. She passed her surprise rather quickly and began giggling.

Albus stood up in a panic. _What? What is it?_ he asked nervously, but it came out as a strangled meow when he tried to talk to his human cousin. She seemed to understand anyhow.

"Your tail, Albus," she chuckled, pointing. The kitten spun around three times before he realized what he was doing and stopped, twisting his spine to see his famous tail.

Only he couldn't see it.

He stared at his behind for a moment longer before glancing at his friend. Scorpius seemed to grin as he swished his long, graceful white tail around for Albus to see. Albus gaped back at his own 'tail' with wide green eyes.

_I'm... I have a... _he began incredulously.

Scorpius started snickering. _You're a bobtail, Al_.

Albus tried to swish his tail smoothly around like Scorpius could, but the little black stub only wiggled disappointingly. The lack of an elegant tail made Albus inexplicably sad, and he sat down, ears flattened and head bowed.

Just then, Rose gave in to her urges and walked over to crouch next to the sad kitten, proceeding to pet him on the head. "Aww, Al, you make an _adorable _cat!" Albus looked up at her in surprise.

_Really?_ he mumbled in wonder, disregarding the fact that she couldn't hear him. _But I have no tail..._

Rose picked him up into her arms and began to squeeze him against her face in a bone-crunching hug, cooing all the while. Albus let out a squeal of terror and fought to be let go. He squirmed and pawed at her arms, but her grip never wavered.

_Scor! Help me! I can't breathe! _he pleaded, flailing his one free leg around wildly.

Scorpius walked up to the squealing girl and placed a fluffy paw on her leg to get her attention. "_Meow_," he said authoritatively.

Rose blinked and looked down at the white kitten. She began cooing at it and went to grab it, but it meowed again, more urgently as it saw its friend go limp in her arms. She blinked, snapping out of her daze, and looked down at the tiny black cat in her arms. If cats could turn blue, Albus was cobalt.

Rose gasped, immediately releasing the kitten, which stumbled uncertainly to its friend, who, in turn, regarded her with a stern glare as Albus tripped dizzily over his own foot and met the floor with his face.

"Albus, I'm so sorry! There's something wrong with that potion you guys took, I would never have done that in my right mind, I swear!"

Scorpius looked as skeptical as a tiny feline could. Albus was still slightly oxygen deprived.

"Okay, we need to find out who else got the potion... and we need to find Roxanne," she growled, gathering her wits. She looked down at her friends. "Do you know who else got turned into a cat?"

She was answered by a series of mewling and purring.

"That isn't English," Rose groaned dejectedly. Two pairs of eyes, one blue and one green, looked up at her, halting their conversation. Albus walked over to a large book on the floor entitled _Care of Magical Creatures IV: Converse with Creatures_, and proceeded to force it open with his face. Rose walked over with Scorpius in tow, curious. Albus looked up and meowed. Rose immediately took over, flipping through the pages until she got to the _Cat_ page. She read over the spell. It was simple, and she could probably do it, but it was against the rules. She stilled her hand just as it was about to grasp her wand.

"Are you sure this is worth it?" she questioned uncertainly. Desperate meowing met her ears, and she made up her mind. "Alright... prepare yourselves." She stood up, and read over the page in the book once more, before setting it down and taking up her wand. She checked out the door, just to be safe; satisfied, she raised her wand at the two animals. "_Felem loquilium,_" she said clearly, swirling her wand in a flourish and pointing it at her friends. A soft blue glow lit up the tip, yet that was all that proved that the spell was working. "Did it work?" she asked, as soon as it had faded.

Scorpius uncertainly meowed. It hadn't worked. Rose sighed unhappily. She hadn't expected it to.

"Well, best simply wait it out and-" She was cut off as Scorpius screeched. As she whirled around to stare at him, she saw that he was writhing on the floor, much like Albus had been a few moments before. He was lit up from the inside with the same blue as the spell had been.

Scorpius twitched uncontrollably, and meowed out something incomprehensible to Albus, who stepped back a little in surprise before running over to his cousin, mewling urgently. She stood staring, not sure what to do, when Albus ran over to the robe and garments by the door that he'd dropped there earlier, meowing louder. Something clicked in her head; Scorpius was changing back. She wasn't a Ravenclaw for nothing; she knew what that would mean.

Scorpius would be naked in her room.

* * *

><p>Rose had managed to shove the clothes and the twitching cat, whose arms were becoming increasingly long and human-like, into a sizable closet in the corner before Scorpius retained any other features.<p>

Albus watched on curiously, trying to forget the fact that he'd be doing quite the same in a few minutes.

Some muffled groaning could be heard from behind the door after the scuffling stopped. _Human_ groaning.

Rose knocked tentatively on the door. "Scorpius? Are you human yet?"

There was a short scream. "I'm _naked!_"

"Then put the clothes on, you idiot!" Scorpius, unlike a snickering Albus, couldn't see the furious blush that spread across her cheeks. "And you'd best hurry; I don't want to be left with a naked Albus!"

"Oh. Okay." His voice was muffled further as he pulled cloth over his face. "I'm coming!" Moments later, he emerged, looking very human-like, except for two rather large white cat ears poking out of his blond hair.

Rose paled. "_Scorpius_..."

He blinked. An ear twitched. "Yeah?"

She pointed nervously. "Your _ears_..."

He nodded, grinning. "Yeah, I've also got a tail," he stated proudly, pulling the member from behind him. It was long and silky, just as it had been when he was a cat.

Rose looked like she was going to faint.

Albus, on the other hand, hadn't been listening, and he would have had to arch his neck ridiculously to get a good look at his friend. No, he wasn't listening, because the pre-change shock had already gone through him, and he was lying on his side, twitching.

After a good number of minutes, Rose and Scorpius noticed the cat, which seemed to be having an epileptic fit, and threw him and his clothes none too gently into the closet, shutting the door. It didn't hurt necessarily for Albus to have all of his fur recede into his body, and he, like Scorpius, had kept his ridiculously large ears and bob of a tail. He immediately started grabbing his clothes as soon as he felt himself stop twitching. Since his tail was so small, he hadn't noticed it as Scorpius had, and thought himself entirely human. He felt something on his head still twitching, but he paid it no heed as he threw the robe over his head.

It wasn't until he stepped outside and saw the Hufflepuff that he felt something was off.

"Scorp-"

"You too."

Albus frowned, an ear twitching spasmodically as he listened. "What?" He then noticed Rose, who had covered her mouth with her hands and still seemed on the verge of fainting. "Rose, are you alright?"

"Albus," insisted Scorpius.

"Scorpius, you're a _cat_."

"Yes, and I was one moments before as well, but if you'd just listen..." Albus silenced obediently. "Good. Now, Albus, please don't panic, but you're still a cat too."

Albus blanched. "But I don't have a tail like you do," he said, in denial.

Scorpius sighed. "Al, you didn't have one to begin with."

Albus blinked. "Oh." He stood there for a moment, ears twitching, before his face lit up. "Awesome!"

"Oh no," Rose mumbled, sinking to the floor. "Oh no, this is worse than the cats..."

Scorpius' tail flickered. "Worse? How is it worse?" He glanced over at Albus, who was stumbling around with his hands outstretched.

"Wow, I can see _everything!_ Hey wait what's that?" He didn't wait for a reply as he ran over to a corner, ears facing the place he was staring at.

Scorpius turned back to face Rose. "See, it's not worse!"

"Scorpius," she let out exasperatedly, "How are we going to hide this?"

That seemed to confuse him. His right ear twitched. "We're going to hide this?"

Rose looked aghast. "Of course we are!"

"What?" Albus exclaimed, walking over with a random ball of yarn clutched in his hands. "Why should we?"

She frowned. "Why do you have yarn?"

"Ah," Al said, looking sheepish. "I'd rather _not_ explain the arbitrariness of this ball of yarn, actually."

Rose shook her head. "No, I don't think I want to know."

Albus's eyes widened as he got an idea. _Hey, Scor, can we still talk telepathically?_

Scorpius frowned and his ears twitched. _Please don't think so loud._

Rose frowned at the two, looking between them. Albus was flailing his hands like he did when he spoke, but no sound came from his mouth. He was looking at Scorpius, and Scorpius was looking back, but his tail was flickering in an annoyed manner.

"Hey, may I take part in the conversation?" she asked exasperatedly, resting her head onto one hand.

Both boys blinked at her. Albus' hands stilled, so he looked like he was waiting for a hug from Scorpius. The blond slapped his hands away.

"Well... it wouldn't be interesting for you... we were talking about nothing, really. Look!" Albus exclaimed, shaking his behind, "I've got a _tail!_"

"You haven't got a tail, Al, that's a blob," Scorpius scoffed.

The two boys began comparing their tails, slapping each other out of the way if their limbs happened to overlap.

Rose sighed, completely ignored. "How long until this wears off?" she muttered.

**Okay I just could not continue it. It was dead. **

**I'm so sorry. **

**But if someone actually ends up reading this, it would make my day lol~**

**Review. I dare you. YOU KNOW you want to ^^**


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